Elbowing My Way Through

My tennis elbow is back.

I am having trouble opening jars. Pulling my suitcase out of the overhead bin. Shaking someone’s hand. 

The thing is, I haven't been playing much tennis. As in, I have played two or three times in the last two months or so.

Why so inflamed? 

This got me wondering: Can one get tennis elbow from working on a computer too much?

You can! 

They call it mouse elbow. 

Except in addition to pain in the classic tennis elbow spot, I also have the pain on the inside. They call that golfer’s elbow. 

This is what happens when a golfer and a mouse decide to play tennis.

The trifecta of lateral epicondylitis!

In thinking about my options for curing it—more physical therapy, dry needling, acupuncture, etc.—I am also considering one more question.

What am I trying to strong arm? 

What am I so inflamed about? 

Whenever I have a body diagnosis, I like to consider what metaphor the situation presents. Because much of the time, there’s something revealing about how I am moving through life that I can now explore based on what is happening in my body.

For example, I was facilitating a session recently with one of my colleagues, and I was nudging everyone to quickly change groups, he teased me about it. He said, “That's aggressive.”

At that moment, I was trying to strong arm the group to move forward.

I can strong arm my way through an agenda: Just get ’er done, I often think. Or I strong arm my way through an activity. Heck, even driving my car I can find myself gripping the wheel as if it's going to take off and go somewhere without me.

Another colleague was teasing me recently with how fast I walk, saying, “You do everything with purpose.”

So true! As Willy Wonka said, “We have so much time, so little to do. Strike that! Reverse it! This way, please!”

I have places to go. Things to accomplish. People to see! 

I am very purpose-ful about almost everything.

There’s a limited number of days on this planet and I plan to maximize all that I have.

But when one is right-handed and one can’t do everything with that hand, what do you do? 

You get good at using your left. 

Brushing your teeth with your left arm. Carrying heavy things with your left. Holding your smoothie cup in that non-dominant hand.

Of course, there’s physical therapy. (Which I haven't had time to fit into my schedule because I've been traveling so much – that’s another signal.) I can go see my elbow doctor. (He might give me a cortisone shot.)

But while I yearn for the anti-inflammatory impact of that shot, the softness in my right arm it would give me, I know those shots can also lead to arthritis. They can also make me think my elbow is better than it is. It's basically a way to numb the pain.

It’s a way to push through. To keep using my right arm.

So, I can keep going as fast I usually like to go.

But a cortisone shot is basically is the same thing as a glass of wine at the end of the day. Or mint chocolate cookies to cheer me up at lunchtime. Or Jelly Bellies on a Sunday afternoon when I am feeling a little stressed about the week.

They are just buffers, to disconnect me from my pain. The very pain that is trying to send me a signal right now.

The signal is much fuzzier when it’s been buffered. 

What is your body telling you right now? What does it feel like (as in a metaphor)? What is it pointing to as far as healing?

Mine is pointing to reducing inflammation. Finding the coolness, not the heat. Calming myself down. Using my phone less. Less time on my computer. Relaxing the tightness in my shoulders. Using more of my left arm and my right brain—my creative, intuitive, emotional side.

Less analyzing. Less arm wrestling something to the ground.

Finding more joyful ease.

I can do that. I can find that. 

I start by imagining a mouse and a golfer go into a bar…

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