When Your Knickers Get in a Twist

Last weekend, my partner and I went biking near our house. 

Woods and country roads. Fairly rural.

As we neared the top of a hill, we saw something in front of us.

A big black bear!

Sitting in the middle of the road a distance away.

Screeeech.

My partner was ahead, and he yelled for me to stop as we both saw it. We were a good 1/8 of a mile away, but thought we should halt right there.

My first thought: “Is it a girl bear and does she have cubs?”

I know that's the only time black bears generally get dangerous.

Just then, an SUV was driving up behind us, so we both turned and motioned to the driver to slow down.

Oddly, she sped up. 

We waved our arms even more emphatically.

But as she approached, without slowing down at all, the driver held her own arm out emphatically and gave us the finger.

Seriously?

The finger?

She flew by us, and we watched as the bear lumbered to the side of the road. Fortunately, there were no cubs.

The woman sped past him and we biked down to where the bear was and watched him lumber away through the woods.

My partner said, “I have seen that car before. I know that license plate.”

“What did it say?” I asked him.

“Loving life,” he said: LVNLIF.

Not so sure about THAT. That was not very loving.

“I hope she saw the bear,” I said to Dana.

“She’s just an unhappy old lady,” he said.

But have you ever found yourself acting like that woman? 

Reacting to something someone else said or did, but in the end, you were totally off?

I have done this—once or twice. (Ha.)

The snarky side of me wanted to yell, “There was a bear there, you jerk! That’s why we were telling you to slow down.”

But we couldn't do anything else at that moment, so we continued on our way. And I found myself looking into driveways on our way home to see if I could see her car parked somewhere. 

If I found her, what would I say? 

“That was mean,” maybe, or “Did you really have to do that?” 

This was just me wishing to make myself right and make her wrong. 

Eckhart Tolle reminds us, “It may look as if the situation is creating the suffering, but ultimately this is not so—your resistance is.”

That woman’s resistance contributed to her suffering. The story she made up about us had sent her into a tailspin. And then the story I told myself about her did the same thing. My resistance to her resistance created my suffering. 

That’s a lot of resistance and suffering piling up.

In the end, we were both missing the point of a giant bear in the road.

Bear carries such powerful, grounding energy. A bear totem symbolizes great courage, strength, and protective power. Healing power!

According to Jamie Sams, author of Medicine Cards, “The strength of Bear medicine is the power of introspection. It lies in the West on the great medicine wheel of life... To accomplish the goals and dreams that we carry, the art of introspection is necessary."

If you see a black bear, it’s a sign that it’s an important time for meditation and introspection. 

A soul reader once told me that native wisdom about bears is that they know where all the healing herbs are.

If that bear could have said something in that moment, I wonder what he would have said.

I think the bear might have said, “Hey there, humans! No need to get your knickers all bunched up. We’re all trying to get from one place to another in this wild, wonderful world. Next time, let’s all just enjoy the ride.”

Touché, bear.

Well said.

We’re all trying to get somewhere in this wild, wonderful world, aren't we?

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