When the Fruit Drops

Growing boys is like growing mangoes.

That’s what my Uber driver told me, anyway.

I was dying to hear more.

His name was Tanveer, and he grew up in India, one of the places where mangoes originated.

“My dad had all kinds of funny sayings as I was growing up,” Tanveer said. “That was one of them: Raising boys is like growing mangoes.”

“Why like mangoes?” I asked. “And why boys specifically?”

“Mangoes are hard to grow,” Tanveer said. “You have to take good care of the trees and prop them up and make sure that they are doing okay. And it takes a while. They need frequent watering as they grow. But then all the sudden one day you have this beautiful, sweet, juicy fruit.”

"I love mangoes," he said, thoughtfully. 

They are the national fruit of India.

"Me too," I said.

Mango trees need a climate that does not dip below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. They also need full, direct sunlight. If they don’t get enough light, they won’t be as productive and the trees may suffer.

I used to say to my son, “Why don’t we sit down together and read a book? Or do a puzzle?”

And he would always say, “No, let’s go outside and play baseball.” Or “Come shoot the ball on me in the goal.”

He needed his sunlight for sure.

You also prune mango trees only when they are about four years old. Then you prune them only when they are broken or diseased. And you need to stop watering them about two months before they flower. 

But how do we know when our kids are about two months from flowering?

When they flower, you have to start watering them again.

It's like this with boys—you water them, then you don't. Then you water them, then you don't.

Tanveer has a five-month-old son. “I have a way to go before I will see if my dad’s statement is true,” he said, laughing.

“It sounds right to me,” I said. 

I told Tanveer my son is 26. And he responded, delighted, “Oh, he’s about my age!” 

That made me smile. When did I get so old?

Mango trees can also grow to be well over 100 feet tall. And some still produce fruit even after 300 years. 

Lewis Howes, who hosts a podcast called “School of Greatness,” asks each of his guests at the end of their interview what their three truths are. In other words, imagine it's the end of your life, your last day on this earth, and you have one piece of paper and a pen and you have to write down three major lessons in your life to leave behind. What would you write down?

Three of my truths would be:

1.    Talk to people. You never know when that person at the register, in the elevator, standing in line with you, or driving your Uber has wisdom to share that will open your mind and heart.

2.    Remember we are all organisms made of tiny cells that are growing and changing. We don’t have to stop evolving and emerging until the very end.

3.    Trust that the mangoes will grow. Give them sun and water. But most important, give them the space they need to become the magnificent fruits they are destined to become.

What are the truths you would leave behind?

Have a comment? Please share on social media or contact Kellie here.