When All Bets Are Off

We thought the game had its rules, but apparently, conditions have changed.

It appears that all bets are off.

We thought we agreed upon how things are done in the U.S., but a radically different kind of decision-making is here.

This rocks the very ground under our feet, no?

It can feel distressing. Unsettling. 

Sick-to-my-stomaching.

And some people actually like the change. Which can make it all feel even more confusing and anxiety-producing.

I’ve been feeling quite despondent about it all.

But me sitting in despair doesn’t help anyone.

So, what do we do?

I’m remembering once when I was driving home on our long country road, and I realized I had a task I needed to finish. If I don’t write to-dos down, they might as well not exist. So, I said, “Hey, Siri…” 

And Siri responded cheerfully as always, with a curious “Uh huh?” 

I replied, “Add task to Todoist.” 

Todoist is an app I use to manage my to-do list. I dictate to it all the time when driving to and from meetings. 

But Siri responded, “Okay. Playing Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Stronger.’” 

And all of the sudden, “Stronger” started blasting from my car’s speakers.

I laughed out loud. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger / Stand a little taller / Doesn’t mean I'm lonely when I’m alone / What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter / Footsteps even lighter….”

Umm…Siri? I’m trying to be productive here?

But I let the song finish, even singing along to the whole thing. And as I was singing, I started wondering, “What are you trying to tell me, Siri?”

What is this about?

Perhaps Siri was trying to tell me that just when I think I am supposed to do a particular thing to move things forward, what I need is something else. 

Just when I think I know what life is about, signals are coming from the universe that are pointing to something else.

While crossing items off my list (my own version of DOGE) grounds me, giving me a sense of control and accomplishment, perhaps that isn’t what I need at all.

Perhaps it is taking some other action.

What does standing a little taller look like for you?

How might you make your footsteps even lighter right now?

For me, it’s about slowing the grind. Stopping the constant striving. Connecting to equanimity, this sense that I can maintain an evenness no matter what comes my way.

I want to be able to say—especially in these times—“No problem. We can handle this.” We can figure out what is needed next. We can be with whatever is coming our way.

What do you need most right now?

Perhaps it’s going out and advocating. Speaking up for what you believe in. Sharing ideas with the collective.

My partner is running to be a selectman in our town. (Which, by the way, should not be called Select-man in today’s day and age in my opinion.) But he sees it as doing his part in ensuring our town is strong—and after bringing solar power to cover our town's office electricity and serving on the town energy committee and supporting my volunteering with the Conservation Commission, it’s a great next step.

He’s choosing community.

In the end, I do think that’s the only answer to all of this. It’s being with each other. It’s connecting with other human beings. It’s about taking action in community.

I still need to have a to-do list. I still need to focus on doing good work in the world. We all do. In fact, we may need to double down—but perhaps showing up in a slightly different way. Just like during COVID, I sense that in coaching—my non-profit and other life coaching clients need support more than ever.

But I need to do it differently. These times are not about accomplishment and productivity. Or about control and power. 

I think it’s about what we can do in five minutes. Taking five minutes to call your representatives. Taking five minutes to do some deep breathing. Taking five minutes to visit with an elderly neighbor. Taking five minutes for a brief walk to the mailbox in the cold, fresh air. Taking five minutes to text a sibling you haven’t talked to in a while. Taking five minutes to pet your cat. Taking five minutes to write a note to someone. Taking five minutes to fill the bird feeder so the chickadees can have a plentiful day. Taking five minutes to meditate.

These times are calling us forward to be in community with each other. To ask others what they need and to try to help.  

To be real with each other. 

And to love.

Just like any challenging and difficult moments for a society, these times are calling us forward to remember most what it means to be a human being. 

And that is to love anyone and everyone you can.

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