The Many Facets of You

As human beings, we are gemstones with many facets. 

We are complex, intricate entities. 

I heard this idea from relationship coach Faith Fuller on a podcast recently.

We are not one-dimensional.

I like to think we are glittering.

If you were a gemstone, what kind would you be?

My birthstone is peridot, but I must admit I have never felt connected to it. It’s a yellowish green—a color I admire but cannot wear without looking like I myself am turning green.

In Hawaii, they once believed that peridot symbolized the tears of Pele, the goddess of fire and volcano.

There’s a part of me that is fiery!

I’m a Leo, which is a fire sign.

Passionate. Temperamental. Energetic.

But peridot and fire are just one part of me.

Like every gemstone, there are many sides.

And no single facet defines us.

There might be a part of you that is fiery. A part that is quiet and reflective. A part that can be joyful and loud. A part that can be sad and grieving.

When something difficult happens in life—or when we cross paths with someone difficult—we might think that it’s our entire being that is angry or sad or upset.

But it might be just one part of us that is activated. 

Not our whole being. 

In reality, there is probably a gentler part; a compassionate part; a friendly part; a part that is like a scientist curious about what is happening; a part that is completely focused on other things.

This is how even in the most challenging times, we can often put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

In such challenging moments, we can ask ourselves: What part of me is activated here?

Who inside me is irritated or angry or upset?

And how do I want to be in relationship with that part of me?

When my son was young and in preschool, when he did something egregious, he would be put in time out. He would have to sit in a giant chair in the corner of the owner of the day care’s office.

It might be because a friend had rubbed Duncan’s buzz-cut head, and Duncan didn’t like that.

Or he was being disruptive, not listening to repeated instructions (he was later voted as Class Clown and Rowdiest as a senior in high school).

But Duncan would sit in that chair and smirk. He didn’t seem apologetic or regretful. And the owner of the daycare didn't know what to do with him. 

The madder she got, the funnier he thought it was.

But this part of him—which we heard all about in the daily note they wrote home to parents—wasn’t all of Duncan. 

This was just the impish, mischievous part of him.

But there is also a part of him that is athletic, and he would play any sport or physical game with total focus and enthusiasm until the cows came home. 

There is a part of him that is really smart, and a super quick learner.

And there is a part of him that has a tender heart.

I remember one time driving down the road with him when he was in that toddler stage. It was raining outside, and we were rushing from one place to the next as you do when children are small. 

And as the rain hit the windshield of the car, Duncan said, “It’s like God is crying.”

This is also another facet of Duncan’s gemstone—he is a deep thinker and deeply philosophical. A soul reader once said he has “old man and the sea” kind of energy.

Which is not what showed up those days on that big chair in the corner. 

But I could see it many other times and many other days.

You, too, are a complex mosaic of capacities, contradictions, and untold depths.

What part of you can get you into trouble?

What part of you do others find most intriguing?

And what part of you might you want to build a stronger relationship with?

Check in with all that is you. Explore some of those facets you don’t know as well. You might find some glitter there.

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