Attachment

What are you Attached to?

Attached with a capital A.

As in, what might you be potentially-bordering-on-unhealthy Attached to?

In my case, I’m Attached to my kid. To him being okay day-in-and-day-out. To his success. 

My son is an only child. I always joked that all of my energy in poured in one singular direction. Lucky him!

But—he’s almost 26. So it’s time for a little slack in that string.

I’m also Attached to achievement. It’s one of my top strengths according to Gallup Strengthsfinder. I seem to have been born with a compulsion to always need to do more. For achievers like me, each day starts at zero—whether it’s a week day, a weekend, or a vacation day. I need to accomplish something in order to be good with myself.

My mom is one of my other Attachments. Like the umbilical cord that once physically connected us, these ties are super strong. Now they are energetic tethers through the non-physical, as she passed away 16 years ago. But those memories and connections are enduring—even as I write this, I miss her deeply, and tears spring to my eyes.

What are you Attached to?

Jonathan Gustin, purpose guide, psychotherapist, and meditation teacher says that “little a” attachment is just fine. Even as he has spent his life seeking enlightenment, he says he still likes ice cream. He likes jazz. He likes skiing. So, he is “little a” attached to those things. 

I love that idea.

We can still have preferences. I can still like Hallmark Channel movies at Christmas. I can still like Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I can still like IPAs. I can be attached to playing tennis, even when my tennis elbow tells me I should choose otherwise.

In a recent Coaches Rising podcast, Gustin said that even Buddha had attachments. Even while continually seeking enlightenment, Buddha, too, would be upset if he missed a flight. 

Would Jesus?

With all of our imperfections, probably most of us as humans would be.

But most people also agree little attachments are one thing, and it’s the big A attachments that get us into trouble.

Attachment to other people. Attachment to our own ideas. Attachment to our own perspectives on the world.

Gustin’s advice around Attachments is to check in and continually ask ourselves, Who is at the forefront here? Is it my Achiever self? Is it that part of me that is clinging to being productive, to whatever is next? And is that of me that is about deepening consciousness and growing in self-awareness in the background, in the shadows? 

Or is it the other way around?

When I am in my Achiever self, it’s the Kellie with the capital K who is in the foreground. It’s my personality self in this physical world wanting to do more. It’s me wanting to help people have deeper impact—to move mountains. 

When I am in my deepest soul self, it’s my kellie soul self who is at the foreground. It’s the kellie who wants to be one with the mountains who is at center stage.

How about you? Who is in charge of your day, and your life? Is it the part of you who holds some big Attachments? 

And what invites your quieter, more reflective and soul-connected voice to come forward?